collins jermaine is the name.

create your own realities with your thoughs, choices, and actions.

my biggest fear is complacency. i do realize that a person is constantly changing and evolving, but there are some times when my spiritual growth does not seem to compensate for my physical progression. it is now my fourth year in college and i am not graduating on time. it beats me up more than people may think. i am very goal oriented, so not accomplishing this task on my time brings a feeling of defeat. and it doesn’t help that I picked the wrong college to invest my money in…but that’s another conversation for another day. anywhoooo..back to being complacent; im starting to think this college redundancy is the main factor. david says he walks through the valley of the shadow of death and fears no evil. im not saying david lied, but personally i think that’s impossible. when youre walking through a valley its completely natural and totally understandable to fear evil. you just have to not allow that fear to come to fruition through negative actions. last year i allowed that fear to take me to a place that damaged me emotionally. i don’t want to reenter…but I feel myself slowly going back the more i think about being here. (school…not this earth. lol.) ive also changed my major four times…another story for another day, but that goes back to my complacent feeling. I did manage to find a solution to this problem, but the problem with that solution is that it only worked temporarily. so now im searching for a permanent solution just in case this problem occurs in the future. my first solution was creating something new and not waiting for something new to come to you. but what happens when that something new becomes old. do you find something new again…its becomes a cycle. i want a little more stability in my solution searching process…if that makes any sense. i do know this permanent solution will come soon, especially because of the energy im putting out. so no worries for right now. lol.